Heaven Or Hell
by TheRealRenee
Summary: Is this end of a deep love? Lita/Edge, Joy Giovanni, others. Note: I bumped back the diva search so Joy would still be around. Edge is not injured, either.
1. Default Chapter

Wake up now darlin'   
I got a reason to believe   
This love ain't gonna last the night   
You've opened my eyes, now I'm a little bit wiser   
A little bit colder 

He wasn't quite sure what had awakened him from his deep sleep at first. And then, as he rolled over, Adam Copeland became aware of the restless shifting in the bed beside him. The woman was doing an awfully lot of moving around in her sleep - which was odd considering her normally peaceful slumber. 

"Amy... Amy, honey, wake up," the blond man said softly, gently shaking his girlfriend. He paused in the task for a beat to turn on the switch on the bedside lamp. He squinted for a moment in the sudden brightness, turning back to her as she suddenly roused. 

Amy Dumas squinted up at him, her face full momentary confusion, red hair mussed. 

"A-Adam?" 

"You were having a nightmare," he explained, a soft smile coming to his face as he gazed at her. She looked so cute in her disorientation, her auburn hair slightly messy from sleep. 

"What..." the young woman began, her eyes shifting down to the blanket that half-covered her body. She didn't finish her thought, couldn't bring herself to finish it. 

The man she loved was looking at her with that sweet expression on his face, smiling at her as though nothing was wrong. Yet, something was very wrong - and she couldn't shake it off, either. 

The shock hit Adam hard as the redhead suddenly crumpled, bursting into tears for seemingly no reason. He guessed the dream she'd had had been so frightening and realistic that it had really shaken her to her very core. 

"Ames... Baby, it's okay." He reached out to put an arm around the sobbing, shaking diva, his voice filled with tenderness as he tried to draw her against him. "Come here... It was only a dream, sweetie." 

Amy wept for a full minute, the sobs harsh and wracking her body. She felt as though her heart were shattering in a million pieces, over and over again. This anguish was far too much for her to bear, and to make matters even worse, it didn't stem from a mere dream... 

... What she'd seen in her sleep had actually been reality. 

Suddenly, she pulled almost violently out of his embrace, startling the blond man deeply. 

"No... don't touch me!" 

Adam frowned as he stared at his unhappy girlfriend, his green eyes filled with concern as he eyed her. 

"I just want to help - comfort you," he said softly. 

There's no easy way   
To let you down and tell you   
I don't love you anymore   
Have a little respect, don't beg   
I don't need it, I never wanted it anyway 

The redhead stood in her tracks in front of the bed, sadly shaking her head as she looked down upon him. 

"No... you... you can't, Adam. You can't comfort me." 

"Huh?" A look of confusion crossed the tall blond man's features as he questioned her. "I don't understand." 

Composing herself somewhat, Amy raked a hand through her long hair. 

"There's... there's nothing you can do to make me feel better," she continued. She became slightly choked up again as more tears came and flowed freely down her cheeks despite her ability to not sob again. "You can't do a damn thing because you're the reason I'm so upset..." 

His heart nearly stopped as he listened to her. Her voice and face alike were full of heartache, and all of a sudden, he thought he knew what was bothering her. Damn it, he'd thought they were going to move past that, forget about it and just move on. But he knew that was the problem right now, knew it deep in his heart and with every fiber of his being - and that knowledge scared the ever-loving hell out of him. 

"Oh, Ames... Don't tell me-" 

So stop what you're saying   
It's more than I can take   
We've reached the end, there's no defense   
I had enough of this bad, bad love 

"I can't do this anymore, Adam... I can't." 

In a flash, the Canadian was up on his feet, off of the bed and heading straight to her. He gathered her in his strong arms, holding her tightly, as though for dear life. He pressed her against his chest, his large hands stroking at her as he spoke soothingly, in a desperate attempt to stop what he knew was coming. But it couldn't happen, it just couldn't. It would destroy him. He was man enough to acknowledge that. 

She was pushing back from him, and he could feel her shaking her head despite the fact that she'd held onto him just as tightly a moment before, and her tears had felt warm as they'd moistened his bare chest. 

"No... I can't. I can't do this anymore, and I can't get past it," she protested as she gazed up into his face. The expression on her own seemed to be pleading with him to understand - but he couldn't. No matter how hard he ever tried, he just couldn't - for he couldn't see any way possible that he would no longer want to be with her, loving her. 

Don't fool yourself   
I could never forgive you   
And I damn sure won't forget   
In Heaven or Hell every tear that I've cried   
Will come back to haunt you yet 

It was like a knife twisting in her heart. Each and every time since that night in July little more than two months earlier, when she thought about it, it killed her. No matter how many times she tried to rid the thought from her mind, she'd found it next to impossible... Adam with someone else... pressing his full lips on another woman's mouth, his flesh against hers, his tongue on various parts of the skank's body... him inside of her... It just tore her to shreds, the most damage striking her heart. 

Don't be surprised if one of these mornings   
Bad luck comes knockin' at your door   
Oh, no, you'll find out   
Hell hath no fury like this woman that you've scorned 

"Amy... oh, God, Ames - please don't do this," the blond man moaned, his handsome, sleepy face filled with misery, emerald-green eyes fearful as he gazed down at her. 

She shook her head, fresh tears dripping down her cheeks as her heart broke all over again. She could still remember that night. How horrible it had been. She'd wanted to just die. And now, as she recalled that conversation, the one she'd never in her worst nightmares ever could have imagined, she shuddered and shivered. 

Two months earlier 

Adam swallowed hard, his gaze cast down at the floor as he sat alone in his locker room. He'd dreaded this moment all day long, ever since he'd woken from his drunken stupor that morning and made the discovery - the startling discovery. 

He'd called Amy a bit earlier on his cell phone, requested her presence at his locker room tonight during the houseshow. He'd already had his match against Batista and she'd already done her spot with Kane and Matt Hardy, so they were both free for the remainder of the night here. But how in hell was he supposed to tell her what he knew he needed to tell her? 

The blond man looked up at the knock on the door, his heart thumping uncontrollably as he stood up to answer it. It could only be her, and he suddenly felt as though he were walking that last mile. 

"Hey," he said, somehow managing to both smile and sound cheerful simultaneously as he let her into the room. She was definitely a sight for sore eyes, but he was horrified at the mere thought of telling her. 

"Hi," she said softly, a small smile gracing her lips, and his heart nearly melted. Damn it, she could always make him feel great just by that beautiful smile of hers. And when he told her his news... 

The redhead stood on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips, her arms clasping around his neck in the process. He held onto her, his hands at her waist as he kissed her back. His heart began to pound unnaturally fast and hard in his chest yet again, and he only hoped she couldn't hear it. 

"How was it last night?" 

"Wh-what?" he stammered, nearly doing a double-take as she crossed the locker room to sit down on the couch in one corner. He suddenly felt hot all over and wondered if he were about to pass out. Somehow, he managed to come closer to her, and she was still smiling at him. 

"You know - the diva search casting special," Amy elaborated, gesturing with one hand and patting the couch. She wanted him to come sit beside her, and the blond man wasn't sure he was physically capable of doing so at that very moment. His feet felt like they were nailed to the floor. 

"Oh..." He raked a hand through his long blond hair, preventing the sigh he felt from escaping. "Err... shit. Ames, I... Well, I have to tell you something." 

"What is it?" The smile slowly vanished from the redhead's face as she sensed that whatever it was he needed to get off his chest, it wasn't going to be something good. She blinked in confusion as she stared up at him. 

"I..." He paused, nervously running his hand through his golden mane again. Damn it... Inside, he'd cursed himself time and time again for his actions, regardless of the fact that he'd not had all his wits the previous night. "... I... had a little too much to drink last night - after the casting special," he began. "See, Chris and I went out to this nearby bar, and..." He swallowed hard, feeling the uncomfortable, sickening lump in his throat, his gaze returning to his girlfriend's face. She looked... confused, scared, uncertain, and... something he couldn't quite put his finger on. "... and I made a huge, terrible mistake, Amy, I'm so sorry, and I never meant for it to happen and it won't ever happen again, and I-" 

The redhead's eyes went wide, and she practically leapt up off the couch to him. 

"What?! Adam Copeland, are you trying to tell me that you...?" She flung her arms wildly as she yelled at him, her hair swinging with the jerky motions of her head. "Spit it out, damn it! Just tell me!!" 

Shaking... He was shaking as he kept his eyes on her, absorbing all of her fury and the hurt and rage in her shouting voice. And as he continued explaining to her, he suddenly became aware of the fact that he was crying, the tears streaming down his face. 

"I... I slept with one of the diva contestants," he blurted, his head bowed, long blond hair curtaining around his face in his shame. "The only thing I remember is that I screamed out your name... and that I woke up with her in my hotel bed..." 

Amy stared at him in silence for a beat, her chest heaving with ragged breaths as she tried to grasp hold of the situation, of what he'd just admitted to. She couldn't believe it. He'd had sex with another woman - and after they'd been in this relationship for the past four years. Damn it, she'd thought she was going to marry this man, bear his children - and here, he was telling her he'd fucked someone else! 

"Who is she?" 

Adam looked up, his eyes still tearful as he searched her face. She looked furious, yet her question had been so softly issued. He opened his mouth to speak and shook his head, afraid to say another word. 

"Who is she?!" the diva screamed, her face reddening in fury. Her hands were curled into fists at her sides as she glared at her coyed boyfriend. "I have a fucking right to know! Tell me!!" 

The tall blond man was practically cowering as he looked inito her angry face - that beautiful face that was always so full of love for him, which was rarely filled with anger directed at him. No... Amy Dumas never looked at him with such hatred and loathing. 

"It was one of the diva contestants," he said in a rush of breath. "It was that girl Joy... Joy," he repeated, shaking ever so slightly. He felt as though he were about to be sick. 

"Joy, huh?" she asked, her expression suddenly thoughtful. "Oh, was that the little brunette who had her leg all over you? Grabbed your ass too, if I'm not mistaken... the little slut." Despite the tears that were suddenly rolling down her cheeks, the redhead bitterly laughed. "Well, let me tell you - if she wins that fucking contest, I'm gonna kick her ass!" 

Adam stared with disbelief at the redhead, his heart nearly stopping for the second time that night. He shook his head helplessly as he watched her cross the room to her suitcase. 

"Amy, what are you...?" He shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "... you-you can't do this!" 

She shook her head furiously as she closed and zippered her bag. She too was crying, sobbing again, and she paused for a moment as she straightened up and turned to look at him balefully from over her shoulder. 

"I have to." She stepped back over to him, stopping as she was within mere inches of his form and reached up to place her hand on his tearstained cheek. "I can't... I can't get the image of you... making love to someone else... out of my mind." 

The blond man shook his head frantically. 

"It wasn't 'making love,'" he protested. "It didn't mean a damn thing, baby... I know I said it before, but I'll say it again - I'm sorry. God, Ames, I am so sorry! Please don't leave me," he sobbed. 

The redhead straightened her shoulders, her tears stilled for now as she gazed intensely into his now bloodshot green eyes. She wanted him, wanted to be able to get past his one and only big mistake in their relationship, but she just couldn't. And it killed her. 

"I can't do that, Adam," she replied evenly, shaking her head. "Goodbye..." With that final word, she walked away from him and went back to her suitcase, heading for the door. 

Adam watched her in silence, shock coursing through him as he realized she was really leaving. He couldn't quite get himself to believe it. It felt as though this were all just a horrible nightmare he would wake up from at any moment. But at the same time, he knew he wasn't dreaming. 

"Amy... Come on, baby, no..." He started to go to her, but she shook him off, refusing to look at him as she headed for the door. 

He felt faint as she whizzed out the hotel room door, her steps quick, her long red hair streaming after her. 

"No!!!" Adam ran out the door and started after her, despite the fact that he was wearing only a pair of boxers. He didn't give a damn, however, and continued after the woman he loved. But she was fast, so very fast - in fact, she was already running down the stairs... And his heart broke. 

She was gone... He could hear her footsteps pounding down the stairs, and he knew there was no way he could catch up to her like this. He was certain to get picked up for indecent exposure, so he did the only thing he could do and ran back up to his room. 

Tears streaming down his face, the tall blond man ran to the balcony, his gaze sweeping frantically over the street below. And then, he saw her... She was walking briskly, her suitcase clutched at her side, her steps still quick. 

"Amy!" he shouted, waving his arms around wildly. "Amy, Amy!!! Come back! Please! Amy Dumas, I love you!!!" 

Stop, don't say it   
It's more than I can take   
We've reached the end, there's no defense   
I've had enough of this bad love 

Don't be surprised   
If one of these mornings   
Bad luck comes knockin' at your door   
Have a little respect, don't beg   
I don't need it, it doesn't matter anymore 

The redhead stopped abruptly in her tracks, her head turning in his direction, and she gazed up at him. The Canadian felt a measure of relief for a moment as he thought she would just turn around and come back into the hotel, back to the room and back to him. Oh, God, he'd never felt so relieved in all his life... 

... But then, after a moment, she turned away and continued walking. And, as he watched with tear-filled eyes, she hailed a cab and got in. And he watched as the love of his life was driven away from him. 

As the realization that she was really, truly gone hit him, Adam sank to his knees and wept. The sobs wracked his body so hard he felt as though he might break into a million pieces. 

Stop, don't say it   
Don't try to make me see   
We've reached the end, there's no defense   
I had enough of this bad, bad, love   


Part 2   
  


Back 


	2. Chapter 2

One month later - October 2004 

Adam ran a hand through his long blond hair and sighed, his shoulders sagging as he sorted through his bag. He was currently alone in the locker room he was sharing with his friends Jay Reso and Chris Jericho, and he was glad for that. 

Things had been pure hell for him over the last month or so, ever since that awful night that Amy had walked out of his life. And despite the fact that he was alone, without the woman he loved more than life itself, he sometimes had a difficult time believing it was truly his reality. 

Practically on a nightly basis, the tall blond man found his dreams consumed by her, the beautiful redhead haunting him. One of his more recurring dreams saw himself walking along some nameless street, surrounded by strangers - until he would suddenly catch sight of her. And, as always, he would call her name - repeatedly so - but she would never respond or so much as acknowledge him with even a glance over her shoulder. He would chase after her then, knowing he had to catch up to her, had to reach her, as though his very life depended on it. Eventually, he would finally catch up to the redhead, but whenever he grabbed her by the upper arm and turned her around to face him, his heart would break, shattering into a million pieces... Because, each and every time this happened, it turned out to never be her. And he would find himself peering into the startled face of a stranger. His breath would catch in his throat, and he would feel seconds away from breaking down as the shock of the fact that the woman was never Amy sank in. 

Adam shook his head sadly. He loathed himself, he really did. Never in his worst nightmares would he ever have believed himself capable of such ultimate betrayal against the woman he loved - yet, he'd done it. And obviously, there was no going back. If there were some magical way he could travel back in time, return to that night and undo what he'd done, he would. He would not have allowed himself to get so stinking drunk when he and Chris had gone to that bar... He would not have allowed his gaze to travel across the floor to that diva contestant... He would not have allowed her to talk him into yet another drink, and with her... And he most definitely would not have allowed her into his hotel room and bed. 

He swallowed hard, a sickening feeling hitting the pit of his stomach. What he'd done had been so out of character. He wasn't like that. Adam Joseph Copeland was not a cheater. He wasn't the type of guy to go screwing around on the love of his life... And yet, he had. It all felt like a horrible nightmare, or like some cruel joke fate had played on him. 

He'd been having trouble sleeping at night. Not having Amy with him, laying there beside him, her body spooned against his, or her head laying on his shoulder as his arms held her securely in place, killed him. It had been so long since he'd slept alone, and he wasn't used to it - nor did he like the feeling. And due to his lack of sleep, his loneliness and anguish, his matches were beginning to suffer. He recalled how Chris had discreetly told him to snap out of it during a match they'd had a few weeks back, and eventually he'd been commissioned to RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff's office. And he'd been absolutely mortified as he'd acknowledged that his in-ring performance had indeed been suffering. 

Not many people knew the truth of the breakup. He hadn't admitted it to anyone but Chris and Jay. And as far as he knew from Chris, Amy hadn't spoken to anyone either, except for her best friend, Trish Stratus. No doubt, the redhead was completely ashamed of him and embarrassed by what he'd done, but the truth was, he couldn't blame her. He felt the exact same way, and he didn't want the world to know all their business. 

Damn it... He let out his breath in a rush as he sat down, shaking his head. He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to go find her, talk to her, somehow try to convince her of his feelings and prove himself. He wanted to get her back. He hunched over in his anguish, holding his head in his hands as he instinctively knew she wouldn't budge. Hell, she'd been avoiding him like the plague for the last month - why would she give him a chance now? 

Adam barely looked up at the sound of the locker room door opening. No doubt, Chris or Jay - whichever of the two had just entered, were going to see him like this and tell him to snap out of it despite the fact that they were both sympathetic - until he suddenly felt a small, soft hand on his shoulder. And by the feel of said hand, he knew there was no way it could possibly belong to either of them. 

The blond man looked up, his eyes filling with shock as he took in the sight of the person who'd just entered the room and approached him. And he recoiled back in an instant, shrinking away from the hand on his shoulder as though it burned him. 

"What... What are you doing in here? What do you want?" 

A bright smiled spread across the face of the young, pretty brunette RAW diva contestant as she gazed down at the tall blond man. 

"Oh, come on, Adam... I think we both know the answer to that question." Joy Giovanni flashed her pearly whites at him, her brown eyes fixed to the handsome wrestler's green eyes. Without being invited, the diva hopeful lowered herself onto the couch beside him, her legs curling beneath her as she reached for him with both hands. "You know, I can't stop thinking about that night... Ever since... I mean, it was three months ago, but..." The little brunette smiled again as she half-crawled closer to him, her small hands against his shoulders. She continued as the Canadian simply stared at her with a combination of shock and horror. "That was some night," she said huskily. "And I'm still waiting for an encore..." And then, she moved her face closer, so close to his that Adam could feel her warm breath. 

"What are you...? No! Get the hell away from me!" the blond man shouted, jumping to his feet and moving well away from the woman. "First of all, you're not supposed to be here because of the rules. And second, I don't want to be with you!" 

Joy's face showed momentary hurt as she pouted, then she shook it off and brightened again. 

"Come on... you don't really mean that," she said as she rose to her feet to stand close to him. "I know you had a good time that night." 

He pushed her away from him, though he made sure to be gentle about it, as she was much smaller than him and he could easily hurt her. 

"Whatever, Joy," he snapped. "Listen, I want to make myself perfectly clear. It's not gonna happen again." 

She merely stared at him with large brown eyes that somehow refused to show sorrow at his words. Instead, the brunette smiled confidently again. 

"I'm sure it will." 

Adam was suddenly acutely aware of the way his pulse was pounding so furiously in his temples. He clenched his teeth in anger, his mind whirling as he looked down at the diva contestant. He didn't want her, he never had. It had always only been one woman, and one woman only. And damn it, the urge to appeal to her was growing stronger and stronger by the moment. Then, his mind suddenly made up, he turned back to Joy. 

"Okay, that does it!" he shouted, grabbing the brunette by the arm so fast, she nearly lost her footing in the high, clunky heels she wore. He dragged her from his locker room, marching with her down the arena hallway, ignoring the stares from various superstars who happened to be passing by. He made a mad dash for the women's locker room, not even mindful of the fact that divas within might be in the middle of changing clothes as he yanked on the door handle. 

A shriek came from Gail Kim as he barged into the room with Joy, as the Asian diva had been about to put a tank top on, and she held the garment up against her bra-covered breasts. Adam, however, didn't even notice as his gaze immediately went to only one of the divas present. 

The redhead's face displayed her shock as she caught the sudden sight of her former boyfriend, the blond man having appeared so suddenly and unexpectedly, it nearly blew her over. Then, her hazel eyes narrowed as she shifted them to the woman he'd brought with him. What the hell was going on? He had the nerve to bring the little slut here?? 

Adam still held tightly onto Joy's arm as he stepped closer to Amy, the fact that Gail, Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, Lisa Marie Varon and Nora Greenwald were all also currently present in the women's locker room. His gaze fixed on the face of the woman he still considered to be the love of his life. 

"Don't say a word," he panted, "just listen... Please." He turned to glare at the brunette he had at his side, who had shrank back slightly, shock in her brown eyes at the situation. He yanked her slightly forward as he turned back to Amy. "Look... This has been killing me. And I'm not just saying that, I mean it. Look at me, Ames - look in my eyes." He pointed up to his bloodshot green eyes with his free hand, gesturing to the dark circles beneath them. "I haven't had a decent night's sleep since you left me. I'm fucking up in the ring, and you know how much I love my job..." 

"You son of a bitch... What the hell are you thinking?!" the redhead suddenly shouted, her face full of fury as she glared up at him, her eyes shifting to the short brunette with him. "And why did you bring her here? To rub my nose in it?!" The look in Amy's hazel eyes was murderous, and it nearly made Adam flinch. 

"No! Hell, no! I brought her here because I wanted to prove something to you," he yelled. He paid no heed to the other five divas in the room, all of whom had stopped whatever they'd been doing before he'd burst in here and were now merely watching and listening in shocked silence. "Damn it, Amy! I can't take this anymore! I brought her here," he spat, turning to look Joy squarely in the eye before turning back to the woman he loved, "to tell you the truth. I know I fucked up. I fucked up big time. And if I could take it back, I would. Fucking hell, if it were possible, I would go back in time and redo that night all over again. I don't give two shits about her," he said firmly, gesturing toward Joy with his other hand. "I love you, and only you. Damn it, Amy, it's always only been you!" Then, before the redhead could utter a syllable, Adam turned to face the petite diva contestant, being sure to meet her brown eyes squarely as he spoke. "Get this and get it good. I never gave a damn about you... I love her-" He pointed at Amy. "-and I sure as hell don't want a fucking thing to do with you ever again. What happened between us was a mistake!" 

Joy didn't speak a word and instead merely looked up at him balefully, her brown eyes dewey. The blond man suddenly loosened, then released his hold on her upper arm. The moment he did, the young woman ran from the room. 

Adam, however, stayed put. His green eyes fixed on the hazel orbs of his ex-girlfriend, the woman he so desperately wanted to win back. Damn it, he didn't know what else to do. 

"I can't believe you brought that little bitch here..." 

"God damn it..." the tall blond man muttered. "Amy, I did it because I love you. I had to tell her - in front of you - that she doesn't mean a fucking thing to me. Don't you see?" 

She shook her head, her eyes brimming over with the tears that had been welling within. She was in shock over the situation. 

"Fuck, woman!" Adam shouted, not caring that there were other women present. "I don't know what more I can do to prove my love to you..." He inched closer to her and reached out with his right hand as though to grasp gentle hold of a lock of her beautiful red hair, but she shrank away from him. "What else can I do to show you that I'm speaking the truth? I love you, Amy Dumas... you and only you. You are the love of my life, and... Damn it, if I have to make love to you right here, in front of everyone, by God, I'll do it - just to prove I love you." 

The redhead shook her head slowly, the tears spilling down her cheeks as she kept her gaze on him. 

"You stupid idiot," she moaned. 

He didn't say a word and instead arched a brow as he gazed at her. A knife twisted at his heart as she continued. 

"I know you love me... That's why it hurts so fucking much!" she cried. 

The blond man reached out for her, but the diva recoiled and instead pushed past Stacy, the tall blonde slightly in her way, and ran from the locker room. 

The blond man lowered his head, his eyes closing as he mentally cursed himself. He ran a hand through his long hair and held it there, then raised his gaze to find five divas still staring at him in complete and utter silence. And each one of their faces, to his surprise, wore a look of sympathy - though whether it was for him, for Amy, or for both of them he couldn't discern. 

Then, without a single word spoken to any of the women, Adam turned and left the divas' locker room.   


Part 3   
  


Back 


	3. Chapter 3

A week and a half later - November 1, 2004 

Amy glanced around the women's locker room quietly, her mind completely elsewhere. Her friends were having a discussion about their upcoming matches for that night on RAW. She, of course, was the only one who was really out of the loop, as she couldn't quite focus. 

Trish suddenly looked up and over at her from where she sat with Gail. Amy knew the two divas would be having a match against Lisa Marie and Nidia. Her gaze ever so briefly met the brown eyes of her best friend, and she knew what the little blonde was thinking. Even prior to that night when Adam had burst into their locker room with that skank Joy, the redhead had gone to her best friend to talk with her privately about how she really felt. 

Three weeks earlier 

"Trish, can I talk to you?" 

The little blonde diva looked up from the table, where she sat across from her longtime boyfriend, Chris Jericho. They were in the hotel restaurant, having a nice late little dinner, and were surprised to see Amy standing over them. Ever since the redhead had walked out on her own boyfriend, Adam, she hadn't really spoken to any of the rest of them - not even her - and had instead opted to be alone. 

Trish exchanged glances with Chris, and the blond man cocked his head to one side, gesturing that she should go ahead. Then, looking back up at Amy, the petite Canadian released her boyfriend's hand from across the table and nodded. Chris rose and pushed back from his chair, inviting the distraught diva to sit. 

"I'll just make a little break to the men's room," he said softly. 

Amy bit her lip as she watched the blond man disappear. The truth was, she felt awful. And, as much as she hated to admit it, she felt terribly jealous whenever she saw Chris and Trish together these days. Seeing her two friends so lovey dovey with each other, their relationship rock-solid, only served to remind her of the fact that she and Adam were over. Also, she felt a horrible twinge at the fact that she knew she missed him. Despite the fact that he'd cheated on her and she'd been unable to get past it, it killed her to be away from him, to not wake up in his strong arms. She still loved him and knew she always would. 

"How are you holding up?" Trish asked, her voice filled with concern as she reached across the table to grasp her best friend's hand. 

The redhead winced for the briefest second as she raised her gaze to the other woman's eyes. She was silent for a moment, then sighed resignedly. 

"Truthfully, Trish? It's been hell..." 

The little blonde tilted her head, her pretty face growing sad at her friend's admission. She'd known without a doubt that Amy had been miserable these past couple of weeks. In truth, although she'd known what had happened, as the redheaded diva had gone to her crying immediately after that night back in July when her boyfriend had confessed, she'd actually been surprised it had gone so far. When Amy had stayed with Adam right after that fateful night, she'd thought they would have gotten past his mistake. 

"Oh, hon... I'm so sorry things came to this," Trish said softly. "I wish there were something I could do." 

Amy bit her lip again, her eyes filling with unshed tears. 

"I just... God, Trish, I miss him so much!" 

"I know, honey... I know." The blonde woman squeezed the redhead's hand. "Have you thought of... talking to him?" 

The redheaded diva somehow prevented herself from completely breaking down, but her eyes widened at her friend's words. Talk to him? How could she? She couldn't face him, she just couldn't. He'd hurt her so horribly, yet despite the fact that she'd stayed with him more than two months after his betrayal, she had been unable to forgive and forget. So, how could she possibly talk to him? 

"I... I can't even look at him now," she admitted, sniffling as she desperately tried to hold back the still unshed tears. "I see him in the hallway at the arenas or hotels and I just... I turn around and walk the other way... Or I just walk on by and ignore him. I... I can't-" She bowed her head, her long red hair forming a curtain around her face. "It's so hard, though, Trish," she moaned. "It's so hard without him!" 

Amy ran a hand through her hair, her gaze fixed at nothing on the floor ahead of her. She honestly couldn't take it anymore. Her curiosity was getting the better of her, and she knew she had to know. She needed answers. 

Her mind made up, the redhead made a beeline for the door, ignoring her fellow divas, and slipped from the room. As she walked briskly down the hallway, she ignored everyone out there as well, her mind on only one person. 

She was shaking as she approached what she knew to be his locker room for the night. She also knew, from Trish, that he'd opted not to share with Chris and Jay tonight. That was actually preferable for her, because she could come to him and not have to worry about any interruptions. 

The redhead's breath caught in her throat as she came to the door, and as she neared, she realized it was open a few inches. Silently, she crept closer, her eyes unblinking as she dared to peer inside. 

He was inside... His back was to her, and he was doing something, though she couldn't tell what. The unusual slump of his shoulders, the soft, sad sigh he issued, was not lost on her. And she felt sorrow consuming her. By the looks of things, he was obviously miserable - not unlike herself. 

As she continued watching over him, she couldn't help but feel horribly guilty as well. His thirty-first birthday had been two days earlier, and she hadn't spoken to or seen him. She knew that, after spending all of both their previous birthdays for as long as they'd been together, it had to have killed him that she hadn't been there. 

And then, he slowly turned, and she noticed he held an object in his hands. He was staring down at something. She narrowed her eyes for a beat, not able to detect what it was he was studying, and then her heart leapt up into her throat. She suddenly realized... In his right hand, he held his wallet - open. Amy knew he kept a small picture of the two of them - in happier times - inside. 

Despite all the hurt and anger she still felt, she felt a twinge of sadness for him. He did still love her, she knew that. And their being apart definitely had to be killing him, just as it was killing her. 

Surprised that he hadn't already spotted her right outside and watching him, the diva made up her mind. She pushed through the locker room door, startling the blond man in the process, and closed and locked it behind her. One thing was for sure - she wanted answers from him, and she did not want any interruptions. He'd already had his match, and she'd already done her spots for the night. 

"Amy..." The tall blond man looked beyond surprised as his green eyes raked over her from head-to-toe, and he drank her in longingly, as though disbelieving that she was really there. Yet, she was, and he felt full of shock, as she'd done nothing but avoid him over the duration of the past month and then some. 

"Let me have my say," she said firmly, one hand outstretched toward him as though to silence him for the moment. "I can't stop thinking about everything, Adam... It's driving me crazy already. But I need something from you. I need answers." She cocked her head to one side, looking sorrowfully into his eyes, and the expression on her face just about broke his heart. "Why?" She shook her head at the word. "Why did you do it?" 

The blond man sighed hopelessly and ran his hand through his hair. Of course, the one question he couldn't answer was the one she had to ask. 

"I was drunk, Amy... I never wanted to hurt you, honey - I swear it." 

She nodded, her head bowing as she knew he meant it. 

"I know you didn't intend that, but you did." She failed to notice the way Adam flinched while her head was still down. "But I don't understand," she continued, raising her head and meeting his emerald eyes. "You're not the type of guy to do something like this. So... Why...?" Her voice took on a slightly beseeching quality as she stared up at him, confusion and heartbreak mingling within her. 

He nodded. He wished he could go back to that night, not for the first time, and erase everything - redo it. He shook his head. 

"But there must have been some reason beyond your just being drunk," Amy insisted. "And it just tears me up inside thinking about it. What did I do? What made you resent me enough, made you angry enough at me that you would-" 

"Oh, shit..." he muttered, interrupting her. A distant memory, one he'd kept buried for the longest time during their relationship, nagged at his subconscious. Something had happened more than four years earlier, when they'd been dating for only two and a half months. And it had hurt him so deeply that he'd pushed it way back to the farthest recesses of his mind. 

"What? What is it?" Amy questioned, her gaze fixed on his face. 

"It was you," the blond man said. "Way back when we were first dating... When you..." He stopped, finding himself incapable of finishing the thought. 

The redhead's eyes widened, her heart nearly stopping. Oh, God... She'd not thought of that in years. It had been a mistake, and she'd put it out of her mind for the simple fact that she loved Adam and didn't want to remember. 

"I was drunk," Adam finally spoke again. "Very drunk, and not altogether there. But now that I think about it, what happened way back then must have been somewhere on my mind." He shook his head, his green eyes closing as he continued. "I guess deep down, I never really got over that you'd cheated on me with Matt." 

Amy swallowed hard, a self-loathing coursing through her as she remembered that night - and the next day, when she'd confessed. She'd felt like shit. And, unlike Adam, she hadn't been drinking when she'd cheated. Instead, it had been a momentary weakness, and she'd bought into all of the sweet-talking that had been fed to her. 

"To be honest, I never understood why it happened," the Canadian continued, his tone of voice somber. "He never treated you right, Ames... And I did, and I couldn't believe you would do that with him after being with me, after I was the complete opposite of him." He'd known way back, even before they'd ever gone out, that Amy and Matt had slept together on a regular basis a couple of years before she'd come to the WWE - and that Matt had never even called her his 'girlfriend.' 

Tears trickled down the redhead's cheeks as she looked him in his eyes. She felt horrible. This was all her fault, and yet she still felt hurt and betrayed. After all, his indiscretion had occurred four years into their relationship, not two months into it. And yet, the urge to apologize hit her. Lord knew, she'd apologized more than once all that time ago, but now, when she thought back on it, it seemed to be so empty. 

She bit her lip as she took a small, tentative step closer to him. Her gaze dropped, and she studied the pattern on his black wrestling tights for a moment before looking back up into his eyes. She didn't bother to even wipe away the tears as she spoke. 

"Happy belated birthday. I feel so bad... I mean, you spent it alone, and I-I'm sorry I didn't..." 

"You have nothing to apologize for, baby... This was all my fault." His gaze on her was so tender, so filled with love that she cried out, nearly choking on the sob she felt building. 

Adam reached out with his right hand, his fingers soft as they traced over her cheek. Her eyes closed at the sensation of him touching her skin, so tender and loving, as he traced her teartrack with one finger. Afterward, he cupped her cheek in his hand, then dared to draw her nearer as she didn't shrink back from him. 

"Don't cry, honey," he crooned as he gathered her in his arms. "You know how I hate to see you cry." 

She seemed to lean into his touch, and he took this as a good sign as he stroked a hand down her hair and back. God, how he missed her. She felt so incredibly good in his arms. And then, he held her back just enough to gaze down into that beautiful but sad face. She silently looked up into his eyes, her own full of love and longing, and he knew - she still loved him, wanted to get past this and be with him again. 

Without a word, he dipped his head to capture her lips with his own, and he pressed the softest, most affectionate kiss on her. She didn't respond instaneously, but did so after a moment, when he suddenly allowed his tongue to penetrate her warm, velvety mouth. He issued a soft moan into her mouth as he felt her respond and press her body slightly closer to his. His body instantly responded, and that was when she suddenly pulled back. 

She gazed over his body, her eyes lingering the longest on his throbbing erection, and she felt herself becoming choked up again. She couldn't do this, couldn't deal with this just yet. It was all still so fresh in her mind, and she was worried - and afraid. She shook her head as she gazed back up to meet his eyes. 

"I... I'm sorry, Adam." 

"Ames?" 

She shook her head more frantically then, and turned so fast he was shocked. She quickly undid the lock on the door and ran from the room and into the hallway. He started after her, calling her name, but then stopped. He couldn't go out there like this, with a bulging hard-on. 

"Amy!" He called after her from just behind the door, but she didn't turn back and instead ran back to the women's locker room. 

And Adam's heart broke yet again. 

Part 4 

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	4. Chapter 4

She sighed and drew her knees up against her chest, one arm winding around her legs, holding them in place, the other going up, her hand running gently through her long hair. 

Amy slowly closed her eyes, the shroud of sorrow and loneliness wrapping itself tightly around her. She didn't know how much longer she could keep this up and keep herself away. 

She sat restlessly in front of the open window in the hotel room she was sharing with one of her fellow diva friends. At the very moment, Lisa Marie Varon was out, hanging with a few of the other girls. She and Trish had pleaded with her to come with them to the club they'd chosen as their evening's hangout, but she'd stubbornly declined. She couldn't deal with that right now, couldn't sit there with the other women and put on the facade of being happy go lucky while her heart was in absolute turmoil. 

The redhead gazed out the window and out into the dark street below. She couldn't stand feeling this way. The hopelessness of the way she felt overwhelmed her. In fact, she didn't know how it was that she was completely dry-eyed for the moment. Earlier that day, she'd burst into tears as she'd confided in Lisa Marie. She'd told the raven-haired woman about that last incident with Adam from mere days earlier, that night during RAW, in his locker room. 

"... I just... froze," she revealed, her eyes downcast as she felt the other diva's eyes on her. The two of them were sitting across from one another on her hotel room bed, and Amy had just felt the urge to spill her guts to her friend. She hadn't even talked to Trish about this, the blonde woman being her very best friend. But the Canadian diva was with her boyfriend and Lisa Marie was her road roomie for now, and they were good friends. 

"Well... that's understandable, Amy," the dark-haired diva said gently. "You two have been through so much. It's only natural that-" 

"I kissed him," she interrupted. "I kissed him because... no matter how mad I was, I love that man. But..." She shook her head, the tears welling up fast in her eyes, and she was finally unable to hold them back any longer. "All of this is my own damn fault! I'm such a horrible, horrible person!" 

As Amy broke down, her shoulders sagging with her sobs, Lisa reached out and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't say that - it's not true..." 

"But you don't understand," the redheaded diva said, shaking her head. "I think I drove Adam to cheat on me." 

"No... How can you sit there and blame-" 

"Damn it, Lisa Marie - you don't get it," she cried. "Early into our relationship, I..." She looked up, briefly meeting her friend's eyes but couldn't hold the contact for longer than a few seconds. "... I cheated on Adam." 

The raven-haired woman's eyes filled with surprise. 

"You... you did?" 

Amy nodded. 

"I did... It was with Matt," she elaborated. "And I guess even though he forgave me, he never really got over it." She raised her head, her tearful gaze fixing on the ceiling above her. "There are so many things I don't understand - about myself, and the way I feel... I mean, how can I condemn Adam when I did the same thing to him so long ago? And first, at that?" 

Lisa Marie gave the other woman a tender, sympathetic look. 

"Well... if it's any consolation, Amy," she began, and the other woman looked up and met her eyes sadly. "It's obvious Adam still loves you, and he definitely wants to be with you - that little display last month in our locker room pretty much screamed that - so, why don't you just talk to him? You guys are so meant to be together. The only question is, can your relationship survive all this heartache?" 

The redhead felt more tears spilling forth, her friend's words ringing loudly in her head. She honestly didn't know the answer. 

She was lonely. She was so miserable without him. All Amy wanted was to get up and seek him out, throw herself into his strong arms and be loved by him. At this point, she didn't even want to talk for the moment, she just wanted and needed him. 

She ran her hands through her hair again as she thought about that night in his locker room. It had been an ordinary night aside from a few key events. First, Joy Giovanni had been eliminated from the RAW Diva Search contest. She had to acknowledge that she'd breathed a deep sigh of relief, despite the fact that she knew Adam had been completely honest when he'd insisted he wanted nothing to do with the woman. Still, after the little brunette had been cut, she'd been able to definitely breathe easier. 

And then, when she'd gone to his locker room to confront him, she'd gotten an awakening. The moment she'd laid eyes on him when she'd been standing outside his door, she'd known she didn't want to live her life without him. But as he'd remembered moments later that she'd betrayed him with Matt Hardy all that time ago, something inside of her had cracked. She'd felt so horribly guilty, so responsible. How could she ever look him in the eye again? Everything was all her fault. 

And, given all of what she now knew, how in hell could she have the nerve to still be angry with him? Although, at this point, she was more hurt than anything else - and the anger she felt toward herself far outweighed any anger she felt toward him. 

She couldn't take it anymore. She was becoming more restless and antsy by the moment, and she had to see him. She would literally be climbing the walls if she didn't get out of here and find him, and soon. 

Her mind made up, Amy rose from the chair by the window and snatched up the keycard she'd left on the nightstand. She slipped it into her pocket as she hurried briskly from the room. 

Adam stared blankly at the TV, his mind a million miles away from the program that was playing. 

He couldn't stop thinking of Amy. God, how he'd screwed up... He'd screwed up big time, and despite the fact that the redhead had indeed cheated on him a mere two months into their relationship, his own inability to be faithful was his own fault. 

He felt his eyes watering a bit as he reminded himself of their last run-in. He'd honestly thought they were on the verge of a reconciliation. She'd kissed him back when he'd made the first move. He recalled every movement, every nuance, every emotion between them during that moment. She'd sunk into his touch, and he'd known she wanted him back. She still loved him and seemed to be melting and warming up to him again. But then, she'd pulled back, almost violently away from him as though terrified. 

Damn it... Damn him. 

The blond man started to reposition himself onto his side on the hotel bed, pulling his tall frame into a fetal position as he wallowed in his own misery. And then, he raised his head, his ears pricked as he suddenly became aware that someone had knocked on the door. 

Slowly, he pushed himself up to a sitting position, his gaze fixed on the door. Who in the world could be visiting him now? He wished that somehow, it could be her, but damn it, she'd been avoiding him again, ever since that night. And he couldn't say he blamed her, as much as it tore his heart out. 

In spite of the horrid yet irrational nagging feeling inside of him that it could be Joy right outside the door - even though the woman was now gone from the diva contest - the blond man rose and dragged himself over to answer it. He prayed he wasn't making a huge mistake by doing so. 

He was shocked by the pair of red-rimmed hazel eyes that greeted him. She looked at him with such a crestfallen expression, he felt as though he could break down himself. He never could bear such sadness in her. He never wanted to make her so sad, and frankly, he had caused it. 

"Amy..." he breathed, his gaze never once leaving her face. She looked so small and sad and alone, yet so welcoming to his eyes. He held the door open more widely for her to enter, and she stepped past him and into the room without so much as a word to him. 

She whirled around to face him, her expression sadder than tragedy. She was silent for a moment as she gazed up into his face, taking note of the dark circles that still resided under his otherwise brilliant forest-green eyes, the redness surrounding the irises. Her breath was momentarily lost as she gazed into that beloved, handsome face, the face she'd loved for so long and so deeply and passionately. It hurt to just look at him now, and she ducked her head and looked down, fearful of breaking down yet again. 

"I'm... Adam, I'm so sorry!" 

He cocked his head as he stared at her, uncertainty sweeping through him. Why was she apologizing to him? For running away from him? For having cheated on him over four years earlier? Lord knew, he'd forgiven her way back then, and in fact had believed he'd forgotten as well - and he had, except for his damn subconscious. 

"Amy, no..." 

"No, listen to me," she insisted, her words rushing out of her in a breath. "This whole thing... it's all my fault, Adam... all mine. I drove you to her... I drove you to do what you did." 

"That's not true," he denied, shaking his head rapidly as he edged closer to her. She was nodding, belying everything he was saying. "I was stone-drunk," he reminded her, his gaze steady as he fixed it on her face. Her head was still down, and he had a feeling she was having trouble looking him in the eye. And so, he lowered his right hand to her chin, tipping it up so that she had no choice but to look at him. "Listen to me... I was drunk. I wasn't thinking straight that night." 

Her eyes seemed to be filling with tears as she blinked at his words. A small sniffle escaped her, but she didn't speak a word as he continued. 

"And I meant every word I said when I told you I ended up thinking it was you. I was so drunk, I honestly thought that, Ames... And by God, I'll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'm yours forever and true, and I'll never hurt you again." 

"But I hurt you so badly!" she exclaimed, some tears finally slipping their way down her cheeks, drenching them and his hand that still held onto her chin. "It was in the back of your mind - what I did to betray and hurt you, and that's why you-" 

Her words were cut off as Adam closed those few more inches of distance between them, and he lowered his lips onto hers, kissing her into silence as he lowered his arms so they wrapped around her waist. He held her close as he felt her body relax in his embrace, and she began to respond. 

The blond man began to anticipate the worst again as he continued to love her lips and mouth with his own, his tongue dipping inside. He felt her moan in his mouth as she eagerly wrapped her own tongue around his, her hands going up to press against his cheeks as she held his head firmly in place. 

"I love you so much, Adam..." she breathed as she pulled back just enough to speak. There were tears streaming down her face as she gazed into his eyes. She still felt so guilty. 

He kissed her tears away, his large, warm hands caressing up and down her back. 

"I love you, too, Amy... I always have, and I always will." 

She let out a soft, broken cry as she sank against him again, her eyes closing as she felt his lips on her skin again. He placed kisses all over her cheeks and eyes, again kissing away all her tears. Her lip gloss was smudged, and she knew it as she opened her eyes to meet his, her tearful gaze dropping to his full lips. A tiny chuckle escaped her as she reached up and wiped at his mouth, her eyes returning to his emerald depths. A sharp pain touched her heart, for she loved this man. She loved him so deeply and with such an intensity that it actually physically hurt. 

Again, the redhead was overcome by her emotions as her eyes welled up more. She tilted her head to one side, a slightly sheepish expression coming to her face as she began to speak. Her voice was so soft, he had to turn his head to place an ear near her lips. 

"I... I can't live without you, Adam... Baby, I... If you would take me back... I mean..." 

"Ames... sweetie, you never lost me," he whispered as he turned her face toward his. Before she could utter another word, he pressed his warm lips against hers, kissing the breath out of her. She trembled in his embrace, and would have probably fallen if not for the blond man's strong, muscular arms. Instead, he held her firmly and tenderly against him. 

In moments, the kiss that was so full of unadulterated love of the purest form transformed, transcended. It had been so long - too long, and the redhead found herself practically moaning at the sensation of his erection throbbing against her. The last time this had happened, she'd run out on him. She'd grown terrified of becoming so close again and had choked. And then, in keeping with the not so distant memory of that night, the tall blond man paused in his kissing, stopping to gaze down at her almost expectantly, his gaze filled with dread and uncertainty. 

She bit her lip as she gazed down, her lips parting as she blinked, then looked back up to meet his green eyes. And she didn't run. She didn't abandon him, regardless of his aroused state. She wouldn't do that again. Not ever... 

Adam let out a muffled moan as the diva lunged back at him, her hands pulling at his head, drawing him down to her so that their lips met again. She was dizzying in her passion, her lips and tongue dominating him, her sweet, curvaceous body pressing tautly against him. It seemed she was deliberately making contact with that male part of him that he couldn't help but feel had betrayed him that last time - and he groaned at the pleasurable sensations. In mere moments, he couldn't even stand it. Her hand had traveled down low, and now she was caressing, fondling him through the gray sweatpants he'd worn to bed. 

The blond man growled as the passion got the better of him, and in one swift move, he swept her up and carried her quickly to his hotel bed. Laying her down on it, he still had the irrational fear that she would sit up and then bolt, but it didn't happen. The moment her back was on the mattress, she was reaching up for him, pulling him down to her to consume his lips. He kissed her back ardently, his tongue plunging deeper into her mouth, and he nearly lost himself as he again felt her hand come into play. She fondled him more demandingly, placing her hand into the waistband of his pants. The feel of her small, smooth hand was heavenly to him. 

"Oh, God..." she moaned as she pulled his head to hers again. Their faces were not even an inch apart, her breath warm on his face as she gasped. "... Adam... make love to me." 

He leaned forward to press his forehead lightly against hers. Gone were the tears, the doubt, the fear he'd detected on her beautiful face earlier. 

"Are you sure?" he whispered. 

She nodded vigorously. 

"Oh, yes... God, yes... I've never been so sure of anything in my life..." 

Their clothing seemed to melt off, and Amy began to moan at the feel of Adam's nude body against her. It had been far too long. It was criminal that they hadn't made love in well over a month. He didn't care that she'd betrayed him... He loved her. It was a selfless, deep, undying love, and she couldn't believe she was the recipient of it. All along, she'd always loved him. She'd just been scared - scared that she wasn't really worthy of it. 

In one swift, delicious movement, he filled her completely, and the young woman gasped as she lay there and gazed up at him. And those eyes... Those deep pools of forest green that drank her in so longingly and lovingly as he began with slow and regular thrusts... She felt as though she could cry out at the look in his eyes. She reached up and placed a gentle hand to his face, cupping it against his stubble-covered cheek, then slid it to his jaw. He was really such a beautiful man - and he loved her. 

She swallowed hard, her eyes closing for a few seconds, but she opened them again, as she wanted to look at him - and for him to look at her. His teeth gritted with the effort of increasing the pace of his thrusts, and a snarl escaped him at how wet she was for him. He couldn't believe it had been so long since he'd last been inside of her. They belonged together - in every possible way. 

She rocked her own hips in an upward motion, meeting all of his movements as he slammed in and out of her at a nice rhythm they both enjoyed. Her breath was coming more quickly, her walls beginning to tighten around him, and then she let go, releasing a scream as she came. She reached up and pulled his head down to hers as she moaned, her lips seeking his hungrily. 

He kissed her back passionately, still jabbing into her quickly, and he raised his head to gaze down into her ecstasy-filled hazel eyes. He needed to see her as it happened, needed... 

He moaned loudly as he felt his own orgasm hit, and with one final deep thrust, he released himself, her name escaping him over and over again. 

"Oh, God, I love you!" he breathed. Slowly and reluctantly, he withdrew from her. "I thought I lost you, babe." He pulled her against him, his sweaty blond hair against her cheek as she held tightly to him. 

"No... never," she admitted softly. "In the last month and a half, I never stopped loving you. I couldn't... I can't." 

He pressed a kiss to her sweaty forehead. Now that he had her back, he intended never to allow anything to come between them again. 

Part 5 

Back 


	5. Chapter 5

His eyes were squeezed tightly shut at the incredible sensations shooting through his brain and body. God, this was unbelievable... Despite the amount of booze he'd consumed earlier in the night, it seemed to not have affected his senses at all. 

He thought he might go mad as he felt her small, warm hand stroking his engorged member. Meanwhile, her full lips, along with her tongue and teeth, were at his throat, kissing, sucking, licking and nipping. She was doing everything to drive him crazy, and he loved every minute of it. 

He tilted his head back, eyes still closed as he suddenly realized she was kissing her way down his long, tall body. Her lips were making hot, moist little trails over him, and a loud groan escaped him as she finally made it down to his erection. As her mouth worked on him, her small hand massaging his testicles, he couldn't help but rock his hips. He knew he had to be choking her, as he was forcing her to take the entirety of him into that pretty mouth of hers, but... Well, he just couldn't help it. He was more than buzzed, and he was beyond into this. 

She slid both her hands around until they were gripping at his butt, and she seemed to be forcing him still deeper into her mouth. He cried out at the sensation, his hands coming to tangle into her long hair. Oh, God... If she kept this up much longer, he was just going to explode in her mouth. 

When he couldn't take it any longer, he pulled himself out from between her lips almost violently, a growl escaping him as he grabbed hold of her. He crashed his lips down to hers, consuming that sweet, wonderful mouth before turning her around so that her back faced him. He shoved gently at her lower back so that she was leaning down on the bed, his need fierce and urgent as he didn't take his time but instead thrust roughly into her at once. 

"Oh, God..." he uttered through clenched teeth. He began to pound mercilessly into her, finding her plenty wet and ready for him. "Oh... shit!" 

Small whimpers came from the woman as he continued his frantic thrusts, her pleasure more than evident. He moved his hands from the mattress to grip her waist as he picked up the pace to batter into her even faster. Sweat was pouring off of him with his efforts, dripping down his face to his chest, onto her back as well. 

"Oh, God... Amy... Amy!" he screamed. He was there. He gave one final deep thrust, practically collapsing onto her much smaller body as he climaxed. The name left his lips again and again, and he twitched inside of her, his breath still coming fast and hard. 

The next thing he knew, he was awakening... The pain was unbearable. Not much of a drinker to begin with, he had what was quite possibly the worst hangover he'd ever experienced in his life. His head felt as though it were being split open with an pick axe. He squinted at the harsh glare of sunlight filtering in through the hotel room window. He reduced his eyes to mere slits as he turned over onto his other side - and that was when he realized it... 

His eyes opened more widely as he frowned. His body felt as though it were frozen as he stared at the woman in bed with him. 

It wasn't Amy... 

"Oh, shit!" Despite the splitting headache and accompanying nausea, he sprang up and out of the bed, eyes wide with horror as he stared down at the woman. It was some brunette, someone he didn't know. And then... "Oh, God! No... no!" He suddenly realized who it was - it was that girl from the RAW Diva Search Contest - Joy something... 'Holy shit!' he thought. No... God, no, it wasn't possible. He couldn't have cheated on Amy, he couldn't have! 

But he was completely naked, and by the looks of it, so was she. Dear lord, what had he done...? 

Adam suddenly bolted awake, his body covered in a cold sweat. His eyes went wide as he realized he was not alone in the bed, and he panted with the horrid memory. His gaze swung to his left, to her... 

Despite the fact that it was indeed Amy lying there asleep beside him, that did little to assuage his disgust from the dream-memory. How could he have ever done such a horrible thing? He thought he was going to be sick. 

Shoving back the blanket, he leapt up from the bed and rushed into the bathroom, where he found himself overcome by a sudden torrent of tears. How could he ever face her again? How had she ever forgiven him for what he'd done? 

He was full of self-loathing as he met his reflection in the mirror above the sink. In spite of the tears of guilt and sorrow at his betrayal against the woman he loved, he snarled as he looked into his own eyes. 

"Bastard..." 

He'd hurt her so unthinkably, committed the utmost act of betrayal and disloyalty. His stomach lurched with nausea, as though staying with him from the memory-dream, and he moved quickly over to the toilet, raised the lid and purged his stomach. 

"Oh, God... oh, God..." he moaned, choking. He was retching so hard, his nose was bleeding. Blood dripped into the toilet along with the vomit. A few tears spilled down within as well. 

"Adam?" 

He couldn't even raise or turn his head to look at her as he suddenly heard her voice. 

"Oh, my God... Sweetie, are you all right?" She rushed to his side, her loving hand going to his shoulder, stroking him. He could hear the vast concern in her voice and couldn't help thinking he wasn't worthy of it. 

He shook his head as he closed the lid of the toilet, his right hand coming up to his nose. His fingers came back with still a small amount of blood. Damn it. 

"Poor baby... You're sick," Amy crooned as she snatched up a wad of toilet paper. She moved around so that she was in front of him, raising the tissue up to his nose. And that look on her face, the concern within, it nearly tore his heart into more pieces. She loved him. 

"No," he denied, shaking his head, taking hold of the toilet paper and pressing it to his own nose. "I'm not sick." The tears continued falling as he met her eyes. He hated himself at that very moment. 

"Oh, God... What-" 

"I don't deserve you," he stated flatly. 

The redhead blinked as she stared at him. She seemed uncomprehending for a moment, then shook her head. 

"Don't say that, Adam... I love you." 

"I know... I know you do. And I love you, Ames... God, how I love you." He ignored his tears, instead concentrating on her beautiful and stricken face. Realizing his nosebleed had stopped, he removed the paper and tossed it into the small wastebasket just beyond. "I... I had a horrible dream." He swallowed hard, choking back a sob, then turned to the sink, where he rinsed out his mouth. He didn't even have a chance to dry off his face as she inched closer to him. 

She reached up with one hand, gently pressing it to his cheek and smoothing away some long blond hair that had plastered itself to his face in his sleep. 

"It's okay, baby... It was just a dream." 

"No," he said, shaking his head, "you don't get it... It wasn't just a dream. I... I remembered that night." He ducked his head, ashamed to look at her all of a sudden. 

"Oh..." She winced, looking down for a beat until she shook her head. She raised her gaze up to his green eyes, her heart leaping up into her throat at the expression on his face. "Adam, don't... Don't do this to yourself. I love you, and I forgave you." When he still refused to meet her eyes, Amy reached up with both hands, pulling his head toward her so that their gazes met. His emerald eyes were so full of anguish, she felt she too could start crying. 

"Come on, let's get out of this bathroom." She grabbed his hand, tugging on it, and he allowed her to lead him back into the main room. She led him to sit down on the edge of the bed, and she perched onto his lap, straddling him. 

"I love you, Adam Copeland," she said firmly yet gently, her gaze focusing directly into his eyes. He looked so sad, and, even worse, hopeless. It tore at her heart, but she knew how he felt. It was exactly how she'd felt the previous night, when she'd come here to reconcile with him. 

He stared into her hazel depths wordlessly for a beat. To Amy, it was as though he were not really seeing her but rather looking through her. It scared the hell out of her - until he finally responded. 

"I love you, too, Amy Dumas." 

The tiniest trace of a smile touched her lips as she played with some strands of his long golden hair. 

"Good... In that case, you listen to me - I forgave you, and I won't have you beating yourself up about that. It was a mistake." 

He stared deep into her eyes wordlessly but nodded. One of his arms wrapped around her waist as he held her in place, and his free hand came up to gently stroke her soft cheek. 

"How can I make you happy again?" 

"You always make me happy..." he protested. 

"I don't mean that," she insisted. "I mean..." She cocked her head as she gazed into his still sorrow-filled face. "I can't have my man looking so sad, those beautiful green eyes so lost and devoid of all hope... I just won't have it." 

"I'm-" Adam didn't have a chance to utter the word 'sorry' as she suddenly closed those few mere inches of distance to capture his lips with her own. She kissed him into silence, her tongue dipping into his mouth as her hands tangled into his long hair. She repositioned herself onto her knees, still straddling him, and gently forced him down against the bed. 

The blond man responded in an instant, despite the inner torment he'd just experienced. He couldn't help it. He loved her so much, it hurt. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly against him as he kissed her back. And she was still straddling his hips, and he felt himself growing hard against her. God, how she excited him. Happy, sad, angry... No matter what his emotion, the redhead never failed to excite him. 

"Oh, God..." she moaned as she felt the hard throbbing and heat emanating from his lower body. She kissing him again, her lips dominating his as she lowered her hand to fondle him. 

He let out a moan inside her mouth, his tongue spiraling around hers as he raised a hand to her T-shirt-covered breasts. The previous night, when she'd slept over, he'd given her the shirt to wear to bed. Now, he only wanted her out of it. 

She let out a soft little laugh as she raised her head from his, her eyes so full of love - and it was all for him. God, how he loved this woman. And then, she raised up to her knees and tugged on his boxers, lowering them just enough to free him. 

He moaned as her right hand was suddenly gripping him, and she scooted down, bending so as to take him into her mouth. She licked up the underside of his shaft, causing him to growl with pleasure. Then, raising her head, a smile curled her lips before she repeated her actions, loving his throbbing member with her mouth and tongue. 

It went on and on for several more minutes until he felt he couldn't take much more. He needed her in a different way, needed to be inside of her. She stopped what she was doing and crawled up so that her face was close to his, then dipped her head, kissing him into oblivion. 

He tugged on her T-shirt, telling her what he wanted, and she sat up, raised the garment up off her arms and tossed it away. At the same time, while keeping his gaze fixed on her, he slid his boxers down his legs and threw them aside. And that was when the redhead straddled him again, hovering just above him in an almost teasing manner. But she did not tease him, not at all. In seconds, she lowered herself onto him, his hardness slipping into her easily. He let out a sigh as she began to ride him, her movements slow at first but increasing as she adjusted to his length and thickness. She lowered down to capture his lips again, her tongue wrapping around his in a frenzy of passion. He kissed her back, his breath catching in his throat as he was nearly overwhelmed. 

He loved her. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would spend the rest of his life with this woman. And, if she would let him, he would spend the rest of his life proving his deep and undying love for her, and making her happy. 

He closed his eyes and put his head back a bit as he gave himself in to the sensations, all the feelings she was invoking within him. And then, he forced them open, knowing he had to look at her. Seeing her in purest ecstasy brought him more happiness than he could ever explain. Damn, she was beautiful. He always loved to watch her when they made love. 

He added his own upright thrusts to match those she was delivering, causing her to cry out. The feel of him inside of her was almost too pleasurable for her to bear. She was close, and she knew it. And then, he placed a hand between them, his large, warm fingers finding her, and she rubbed herself against him, a moan escaping her, followed by his name. 

"Adam, oh, God... Oh, Adam..." she breathed. She lowered her head to his, again kissing him fervently as she rode out her orgasm. The pleasure was so great, it was almost unbearable. 

Feeling her tighten up around him, seeing and hearing her ecstasy... It was all too much for him, and he grunted as he came, his hands gripping her waist tightly as he continued with hard upright thrusts. He held onto the feeling as he emptied into her, until he had no more to give. 

"Oh... God..." he moaned. 

She lowered herself to him again, reclaiming his lips, and he kissed her back, the tenderness sweeping through him. He could feel her heart beating against his. An incredible peace came over him. 

"I love you..." 

Part 6 

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	6. Chapter 6

December 2004 

She sat silently, as still as a stone except for her eyes, which kept blinking with emotion. She shifted the hazel orbs from the cell phone through which she'd just spoken, where it lay on the nightstand, then to the window just beyond. 

She was in shock, and felt as though her heart might stop. There had only been one or two other times where she'd felt such horror - such cold and utmost fear. 

Amy barely looked up as Adam re-entered the hotel room, the tall blond man having just picked up some takeout from a nearby sushi place they'd spotted a few hours ago. She was far too stunned to even react. 

"Got exactly what you wanted, babe," the Canadian said as he moved over to the table in the farthest corner. "They had your unagi, and salmon, and-" He abruptly stopped speaking at her complete and utter silence, a frown coming to his face as he caught the strange expression on her own. "Amy?" 

The redhead raised her hazel eyes from the mattress upon which she was sitting to his concerned green eyes. He looked so unassuming, so totally unaware. And that hurt her heart. But how could he know? She'd only just found out, thanks to her friend's call. 

She shook her head, her entire aura shrouded in hopelessness. 

"Adam, I... I just got off the phone with Dawn Marie," she said, and he arched a brow. Her closest SmackDown diva friend had deemed it fairly important to call and give her the news, as she knew how badly she'd been hurt a few months earlier. 

The tall blond man put the bag containing their late-night dinner on the table, and he didn't budge from his spot as he waited for her to continue. Needless to say, whatever the brunette Amy used to work with in ECW had told her, it wasn't anything good. 

She shook her head, the fear gripping her in its unbelievably tight clutches. She didn't want to tell him, but he would find out eventually, so she might as well. She steeled herself, rounding her shoulders and looked him directly in the eye as she spoke. 

"The WWE just hired three new divas to be on SmackDown... These three women were part of the RAW Diva Search contest..." 

Adam held his breath for a beat as he waited for her to finish. Somehow, he knew exactly what she was about to tell him. 

"... And it just so happens that Joy Giovanni is one of them." She lowered her head again, the emotion welling up inside of her and overwhelming her. Despite loving sushi more than just about anything else she could eat, she no longer had an appetite. In fact, she thought she might be sick. It was her worst nightmare... Well, her worst after originally finding out her boyfriend had slept with that little skank. 

The tall blond man was at her side in an instant, concern etched on his sharply handsome face as he sat beside her. He reached out for her with both hands, pressing his palms against her cheeks and forcing her to look up into his eyes. 

"You listen to me - I don't give two shits about Joy Giovanni," he spat. Although he wasn't angry with the redhead, he couldn't help feeling agitated that the company had gone and hired the small brunette after she'd been eliminated in the diva contest. As far as he was concerned, the only one of those women who should be employed in the WWE was Christy Hemme, who had rightfully won the fans' hearts and votes. "The only one I give a damn about is Amy Christine Dumas - you," he insisted, his voice firm. He looked directly into her hazel eyes, wanting to flinch as he absorbed the hopelessness he saw in them. 

Amy shook her head although his hands were still holding, cupping her face. 

"I... I know," she said weakly. She swallowed visibly, hating that she felt so damn helpless and... insecure. She'd never been one to be plagued by a bout of insecurity, and frankly, she loathed the feeling. Her gaze remained locked on his strangely beautiful eyes - brilliant green, but so dark they sometimes appeared like murky ocean water. 

The blond man moved his face closer to hers, pressing his forehead against hers, his breath warm against her. 

"I love you so much," he breathed. "And I don't give a damn about anyone else... Nothing is gonna take me away from you, baby." He tilted his head to one side, brushing her lips with the softest little kiss - nothing too passionate for the moment, just tender and sweet and full of affection. It brought tears of Amy's eyes. 

The redhead blinked with emotion as she ducked her head away from his gaze for the tiniest of seconds. The truth was, she was embarrassed. She hated that she was feeling this way when she'd been so wrong in the very beginning of their relationship. And, for the life of her, as irrational a feeling as it was, she couldn't help thinking, deep down, that she wouldn't blame the blond man for leaving her. 

"I love you, too," she managed, still choked by her emotion. She raised a hand to his stubbled cheek, marveling at the love she read within his emerald eyes. She moved the mere couple of inches to capture his lips with her own, and this time, the kiss was more passion-filled, hungry. She visibly relaxed as she felt his tongue enter her mouth, his arms winding around her waist, pulling her more closely against him. And God, how she loved him. 

After a few minutes, he reluctantly pulled back, breaking the kiss. He offered her a soft smile, his hand reaching down and gripping hers gently but firmly. He wanted to lay with her on the bed and kiss her until all hours of the night, but they had food that could easily and very quickly go bad. He gestured with a tilt of his head toward the table nearby. 

"Come on," he said. "Let's eat. There's plenty of time to continue this later." 

Adam roused from his sleep, his eyes opening slowly at the feel of the soft, sweet body in his arms. Amy... He gazed down at her, her head resting on his chest, using it as a pillow, her body turned half on her side, her arm partly draped over him. They were both nude beneath the blankets, having fallen asleep in one another's embrace after making love the night before. 

He smiled softly, a feeling of incredible peace overtaking him. She was sleeping so soundly, a small, contented sound issuing softly from her. She felt so warm and wonderful to him - and he never wanted to let her go. 

As though sensing him watching her, Amy suddenly shifted slightly, her head raising, and her eyes fluttered open. She blinked sleepily up at him, disoriented for a few seconds. 

"Hey." 

"Hey," she said, bringing a hand up to rake at her disheveled long red hair. She yawned and slid her body up so that her head was just beside his, against the pillow. She turned over onto her side, edging closer to him, burying her face into the crook of his neck. He made her feel so warm. It was really a nice feeling. 

The Canadian smiled as he looked down at her. He was struck by a rush of tenderness as he reached an arm around the redhead, drawing her against him. The smile on his face blossomed a bit more as he thought about doing something he'd planned on for quite awhile. He hadn't want to let on just yet, wanting to wait a little longer, but damn it... Fuck it - he didn't want to wait any longer. 

"Baby..." he said softly, his hand going into her soft red hair. She raised her head reluctantly, gazing sleepily up at him, and he moved his hand away and raised it in a 'wait' gesture. Then, sliding over to the side of the bed nearest to him, he leaned down to rummage through his bag, which he'd left right there by the foot of the nightstand. He felt Amy beginning to lean over, as though curious by his actions, but he shook his head. "... just lay right there." He allowed his fingers to seek what he'd been searching for in a small compartment of the bag. 

The redhead watched him intently, the curiosity nearly getting the better of her as she wondered what he was up to. And then, he straightened back up, a serious expression on his handsome face. Whatever he now held in his hand, he obviously didn't want her to see it because he was clutching it tightly, as though hiding it. 

"Adam, what...?" Her breath caught in her throat as he took gentle hold of her hand with his free one. 

"Ames, all the stuff we've been through in the last few months... Well, it made me realize even more how much I really love you. Not that I didn't already know the extent of how I feel about you, but..." A small smile crossed his lips, his green eyes dropping their gaze for a few seconds as he sadly recalled the turmoil their relationship had endured in the last two months. "... When you left me awhile back, it nearly killed me, and I count my blessings that you came back to me." 

Amy felt tears welling up in her eyes as she fixed them on his face. His words were so heartfelt, straight from his heart. 

"And after we got back together, I knew one thing - I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he went on. He opened his fisted hand to reveal the glittery diamond ring, the emerald-cut stone beautifully done in a basket setting on the gold band. 

The redhead gasped in surprise, her heart nearly exploding, but in a good way. She found herself momentarily speechless as he wiggled his fingers enough to grip the ring and extend it out to her. She was in absolute shock. 

By now, the blond man too felt tears in his eyes, and he ignored them as he fixed his green gaze on her. He cocked his head as he regarded her and continued. 

"Amy Christine Dumas... You are the best thing to come into my life since the WWE hired me. I... I almost can't explain it because there aren't enough words in the English language to describe how much I love you." He blinked at the emotion between them, drawing in a quick breath before he went on. "I love the way you're strong for me when I'm not feeling strong, and for the way you make me forget my problems just with your beautiful smile. You... you take away my pain when I'm hurting, give me encouragement when I'm unsure about something. You... you're my rock and my heart... And if you would become my wife, I promise to spend the rest of my life making you the happiest woman alive. I love you, Amy..." He swallowed, and then, "... Will you marry me?" 

By now, the redhead was weeping softly, the tears streaming down her cheeks. She felt a sharp-loving pain inside as she realized he too was crying. She reached out with her free hand to wipe away the tears from his cheeks, and she found herself softly laughing. 

"Yes..." she said, her voice nearly a whisper. "... Yes, I'll marry you, Adam Joseph Copeland." 

He felt his heart soaring as he then slid the ring up her finger, a smile coming to his features as she threw herself into him, her arms coming up to clasp tightly around his neck. Instantly, she sought his lips, her tongue darting into his mouth, and he groaned as he felt himself harden against her and kissed her back. 

It went on and on, and he let himself fall back against the pillows and mattress, his arms wound around her waist, holding her tautly down to him. She moved so that she was straddling him, her mouth so deliciously hot as they continued to kiss. 

After a few minutes, she raised her head to gaze down at him, merriment in her hazel orbs as she smiled. 

"You are about to get so lucky," she said impishly. 

The blond man grinned up at her. She was so undeniably precious, and again, he counted his lucky stars for having her - for being fortunate enough to get her back right where she belonged - in his arms, loving each other... And now, he knew it would be forever. 

"I already am, baby," he breathed, one of his hands coming up to tangle into the back of her long auburn hair. "I already am." With that, he drew her head down to him again, his lips hungrily claiming hers. 

+ End + 

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